Valentine's Day is right around the corner. Do you have any special plans? Are you wishing and hoping that your husband has made special plans? I think Valentine’s Day is one of those tricky holidays that can cause sorrow, anger and bitterness because our expectations are not met. I’m just speaking from experience here. If you have found this to be true for yourself, may I give you some advice?
Check Expectations
You may not even realize that you have certain expectations around Valentine’s Day. Ask yourself and the Lord if you do, and whether or not they are realistic and honorable.
Communicate Expectations
If you really desire to mark this holiday in a special way you need to communicate that with your husband. He cannot read your mind. Ask him how he would like to celebrate, or not. Brainstorm ideas together.
Coordinate Experiences
What I mean by that is, come up with a plan. If your husband doesn’t have the brain space or time to come up with anything, then you take the initiative and plan something.
If you find yourself struggling with Valentine's Day expectations or need some ideas, I offer the following simple ways to celebrate this day of love in your home. Most of these ideas will work for a spouse or a child. However, the final section, "For Husband and Wife Only", includes ideas to bring some of that vibrancy in marriage we talked about on our episode on Marital Intimacy with Sandi Goforth and Gwen Cunningham.
IN THE KITCHEN
Heart-Shaped Breakfast Foods (pancakes, toast, waffles, etc). You don't need fancy heart-shaped pans for this. Simply prepare the item as usual and cut it into a heart shape once it is done. Save the scraps for breadcrumbs, breakfast casserole or to feed the birds.
Make Their Favorite. This could be for any meal, snack, or even a special beverage. Just make something that you know they will love.
Chocolate-Covered Everything. Make things easy on yourself and purchase items from the store that you can make festive simply by dipping in melted chocolate. Milk, dark or white chocolate all work great. Valentine sprinkles add a little something extra. Some ideas for dipping: strawberries, bananas, marshmallows, cookies, nuts, biscotti, nut butter cracker sandwiches (trust me...it's awesome), and if you are feeling brave...bacon or jalapeños.
WORDS
Sticky Notes. Leave little notes where they are sure to see them. Tell them how much you love them, your favorite things about them, your favorite memory about them, etc. Strategic places: bathroom mirror, pillow, lunch box, toilet paper roll, car steering wheel, computer, phone, coffee pot, their desk or on their computer screen.
Poetry. Compose a few rhymes to express your love. It can be serious, silly, or a little of both. If you need a some help, use classic poems as a blueprint for your composition.
52 Reasons I Love You. Get a deck of red playing cards. On each card's face write out a reason you love the person. If you still have the box, decorate it in some way so they know these are special cards and they won't accidentally get thrown out or given away. Alternatively, you can tie the deck together with ribbon or punch a hole in top corner of each card and put the whole deck on a metal D-ring.
Write Out Your Love Story. Take a trip down memory lane and record everything you can remember about your meeting, courtship and marriage. Try to remember and record as many details as possible. Describe in detail sights, sounds, smells, thoughts and feelings. This is something to do together or separately and then compare your memories. You can also do this for a child by writing out their birth story with age-appropriate details related to how you found out you were pregnant, your first ultrasound, the gender reveal, their birth, meeting face to face the first time and bringing them home.
MUSIC
Make a Playlist. This can be made up of songs from important times in your history together, or just a collection of music that expresses your love and feelings.
Write a Song. Similar to the poetry suggestion, this can be silly or serious. It also doesn't have to be set to original music. Take a favorite tune and replace the lyrics with your own.
Serenade. "a piece of music sung or played in the open air, typically by a man at night under the window of his lover." Whether outside or in, the husband or the wife can delight the heart of the other by expressing love through singing and/or playing music. Don't worry if you have no instrument. Sing acapella or be like John Cusack in Say Anything and hold a boom box over your head while you sing or lip synch.
EXPERIENCES
A Romantic Stroll. Walking arm in arm through a lovely park, a wooded path or along the shoreline will not only give you time alone, but fresh air and sunshine will get your endorphins going. Bring a picnic along for an extended date.
Do Something They Love with Them. Is your husband an avid golfer? Ride or walk along with him for 9 holes and ask questions, taking an interest in his love of the game; or go play mini golf together. You'll both have fun while he improves his short game. Does your child adore building legos? Make an afternoon lego building date where they will get all of your attention and lego assistance for an hour or two.
Dress Up for Dinner. This can be for the whole family, or just Mom and Dad after the kids are in bed. Put on your fanciest clothing to dine in your own home. The meal can be extravagant, simple, or even take out. If possible use cloth napkins and your best dishes. Play some ambient music (jazz, classical or instrumental worship music are great), light some candles and enjoy a fancy night in.
Enjoy a Fireside Meal or Dine Al Fresco. Do you always eat your meals at the kitchen table? Switch things up by setting a table or blanket in front of the fireplace, or outdoor fire pit if weather permits. No fireplace or fire pit? You can create a similar ambience with several candles placed around the room and on the table (be safe...do not leave unattended). There are also fire mood screens on YouTube and other streaming platforms that you can play on your tv to really give that cozy fireside feel, complete with crackling sounds.
FOR HUSBAND AND WIFE ONLY
Create a scavenger hunt with clues throughout the house for him to come and find you. I leave it to your imagination as to what state he finds you in.
Give each other a massage, the less clothing the better.
Special Game Night. Try strip poker, naked Twister, or make up your own "special" rules to any regular card or board game.
Create a sense of anticipation by texting messages throughout the day expressing your love, desire and plans.
Pick out lingerie together. There are several websites that feature their lingerie on forms rather than live models, so no need to worry about the weirdness of your man looking at barely clothed women in order to buy something for you.
SCRIPTURE
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.
1 Corinthians 16:14
Let all that you do be done in love.
1 Peter 4:8
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.
1 John 4:7
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.
Romans 12:10
Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.
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